immortal teacher

sunshine-summer love
we’d deserved more
than what we’d taken
of this dusty place
that poverty which we’d accepted
our souls, displaced
we’d given enough–
we haven’t much time
these amber days fall over
and when the moon is full
laced, and sheer
in its mist of tears
too distant to capture
on the warm tip of a finger
aye– I can recall
our wilderness, shared
then– when we’d danced
within our doubt’s shadow
this– still, held closely
thin and dark, it whispered
and seduced
tho we’d wished it be gone
tho we’d wished it to stay
for what then, would save us
from our loneliness?
such a clumsy beginning
and the door-slam, stark ending
tho the first, always–
begets the next
always, in time–
you’d deserved more
you’d deserved more
of me
regret, I’ve known–
to be
the immortal teacher
and the only deity
and tho you’d never read
my poetry
these black-rose words
kept, then, only by my heart–
I know not
if I’d been
a lesser man
or if I’d been blessed–
a winged-spirit, greater
when known
in part
tho I smiled in your sunshine
and tho we often laughed
I console myself
now, with solitude
and with these small notions
which pretend to be large
it’s better this way
yes, perhaps–
aye– every poem
I’ve ever written
both before, and after
has been
a goodbye

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18 thoughts on “immortal teacher”

  1. Aye, show me a man at 18, I’ll show you a man at 48. It’s too bad she did not read your poetry. It has long been a gift of yours. This Jersey girl is poetically warming the shores of the Gentle Tacoa in the mountains where the toilets don’t care what your birth certificate says, and twenty-three year old goodbyes happen at the end of slamming phones instead of doors. Ahh but those poetic summers are what long lives and long memories are built on. Greetings from the Cali girl.

    1. Hi Karen. I appreciate the visit. I spent a few minutes trying to figure out where the Tacoa is.. Google thinks it’s in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Looks beautiful btw. Sublime. But you also called yourself the Cali girl? In any case. I appreciate the thoughtful comments 🙂

      1. After growing up with you in my adolescence, I went to school in NC….Where we parted ways. After graduation I moved to Calfornia. This week I am vacationing in Murphy NC with my kids at my sister’s house. The Tacos is beautiful.

        1. I thought that was you, but wasn’t sure. I’m sure your family is beautiful. The thought made me smile 🙂 I have a son as well now. He’s 11. Please tell April I said hello. I hope you’re both well.

          1. We are well. Parents too. My spouse LJ and I have 11 year old son and 13 year old daughter. We have carved out a place in Oakland.
            Good to see you have continued writing. Thoughts on BLM? We are living in quite a time.

            1. Actually, I stopped writing altogether in my early twenties and just picked it up again a couple years ago. BLM? Black Lives Matter? I dunno. I haven’t been following the news lately. Maybe I should.

              1. Yes you should look into BLM. You should also read The New Jim Crow. It is eye opening and enraging and inspiring. I especially appreciate how it helps me understand history in my lifetime.

                1. Okay. I’ll look into it. I’m not who you knew in that regard. I don’t watch TV, read the news, or follow politics, and as a result I sometimes miss some issues.

                  1. I don’t listen to cooperate News. Only KPFA/hard knock radio.
                    I have been thinking about you because my son found Calvin and Hobbs, and Simpsons. I found it uncanny that even with no genetic influence… These comics returned to my life. He fancies himself a comic artist.

                    1. Now that’s just awesome 🙂 And he has great taste in comics. When he’s a bit older, he might like Matt Groening’s earlier comics. Before the Simpsons he wrote the life in hell series. Lots of (more) adult humor in that series tho. After seeing your reply, I dug out my Calvin and Hobbes books for my little buddy. He’s busy taking over the world on his computer at the moment, but he might read them before the summer is through.

                    2. Taking over the world of zombies, poke-creatures, and mine craft? Mine too, but an avid reader. He wanted to know if you were going to mail your books to him?.

                      We are back in Oaktown now. After a week in Yosemite it’s time to get my classroom ready for the little impressionable minds.

                      How are your parents? Is Mom still in the West Indies? Dad and Step Mom in SBB?

                    3. I’m sure you’re a wonderful teacher 🙂 Mom is living in Texas now. Dad and stepmom are in northern FL. Don’t get to see them as often as I’d like.

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