I’m just not a good blogger

I’m not a good blogger. It just isn’t me. I’m not the type.

I don’t write about current events. I don’t even watch the news. The Sunday newspaper is still sitting in the transparent pink baggie in which it was wrapped when the paperboy threw it onto the roof. It’s Thursday night and it’s still up there.

I’m sure that if I climbed onto the roof and opened the unread Sunday newspaper, or if I read a news website, or if I could figure out which of the three remotes turns on the TV, I could find something blog-worthy upon which to write. I could find something which requires that blog readers take sides, to cast their opinions. I’m certain that I could incite a riot of words, capitalized shouts followed by several exclamation points, and threats of violence, or threats by readers to never return. And then, I could tell them, defiantly, that I don’t care if they do come back, and that they should check their shorts for lumps to see if they had produced any brains yet. But I’m just not a good blogger.

I’m not topical, I’m not particularly controversial, and I don’t do consistent themes well. I bounce all over the place, changing directions erratically, like a sugar-addled spittle-grin kid on a motorized Pogo stick. A morning piece might be a love poem, or ten poems nestled in one, if read closely. By afternoon I might be writing, in a nasally tone, about the best method for shooting green jellybeans out of one’s nostrils, or I might be typing the surprising demise of a Zen monk, tossed off of a misty mountaintop whilst peacefully meditating, and of his bouncing off the cliff face on the way down. Surprise! A friend told me that I have ADHD. I could do a topical blog on ADHD, I suppose. But I can’t pay attention long enough, and I’m just not a good blogger.

I write my fair share of shit, but I don’t have the keen nose to know which topics will attract flies. That ability and predilection is a gift, or a curse, and I’m not sure which, but I haven’t stepped in it.

I’m just not deliberate. While not above questionable prose, I’m not good at turning prose into a deliberate question, something that entices readers to comment their thoughts. It’s not that I don’t care to know anyone’s thoughts, I like other people’s thoughts. Sometimes. It’s not that I’m so narcissistic that I only care about my own opinions, although I did manage to start every single paragraph of this post with some form of “I”. It’s that–- well, I’m just not a good blogger, but I still write a blog, and I’m okay with that, and if you aren’t okay with that– well, then check your shorts.

It’s too damned serious around here.

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36 thoughts on “I’m just not a good blogger”

  1. Lol! You made me giggle with this one! I love the randomness of the humor, and the way it spirals around the central statement, “I’m just not a good blogger.”

    Course, if you wanted to start an argument, that might be a good statement to use, as I’m sure all your followers would “strongly disagree.”

    Now, see what you’ve done, Eric?? You’ve incited a comment, an unofficial poll, and a critique of your work all with a single post…

    Damn! You’re really good at this blogging stuff! 😉

  2. I agree with Lisa! Which means I disagree with you! There! You’ve incited another critical statement about your opinion!
    I love your blog. I love your silly and random and poignant. You are an awesome blogger. Especially because “check their shorts for lumps,” made me laugh out loud! 😀

  3. I was just thinking we needed some shouty caps!! Thanks, Vic!!

    Now, violence is not in my nature, but lately I’ve been really good at breaking down electronics and communication stuff. I suppose I could threaten you with that…

    But then again, if I did that, how would you know? Hmm… tapping with a thinking fingertip upon my chin I will have to get back to you when I figure this out…

  4. Eric, you’re just as good as any other blogger I’ve seen. We all are just sharing our thoughts, and most of the time we’re all over the place. Maybe we are all hyped from the jelly beans… Nice post by the way… keep writing.

  5. To each their own. Not all blogs are the same and not all written for any purpose other than being a sort of public journal. It’s your thoughts in typed out and if someone feels engaged so be it. Let someone else have the serious news filled blog. Just be you.

      1. Well I did get the tongue in cheek part but also wanted to comment because I guess I think most joking has its roots somewhere in the truth. I sometimes feel like you described, as though my blog has no point. I don’t have the followers or engaged commenters that some blogs do. But then I remember why I do it and it’s okay.

  6. I beg to differ. If you think you are not a good blogger, I am seriously warped. I love your content, humour, philosophy, wanderings, insight…don’t change a thing.

    I flit from socks to poems about trifling nonsense and all with a side order of irony and pink. If I wanted to read the newspaper, I would, but I don’t because i would rather play with worms.

  7. Enjoyed the read before I went along with my day..and I DO THINK you are a good blogger because you are just funny as hell, and use words most wouldn’t to express your thoughts…and I don’t think I am a good blogger either…but, I love writing my can comment or not, but it’s me, and it feels free to be LOL!…..

  8. Whether tongue in cheek, or tongue in the air, it seems your readers loved to disagree with you on this day. You’ve arrived! I enjoy every bit of the ping-ponging, lily-pad-jumping, moth-to-the-flame-flitting I see all over your page. It keeps me on my toes. Thanks for being the crappy blogger you claimed to be; it works for me!

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